Author Archive
Film Review – Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes
Some people like movies where the “monster” is shown, and some people like it when the suspense and action put images in your head that could never be adequately visualized on film (sadly, fans of computer generated imaging don’t believe in the latter). Bigfoot: The…
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Schlock Shelf – Razortooth
Razortooth is another forgettable film about a genetically mutated swamp creature that escapes and begins killing innocent townspeople. This film is totally different, though, since it’s a killer EEL instead of a crocodile or shark. Oh wait, it isn’t different at all. And of course,…
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Schlock Shelf – Doomed To Consume
Doomed to Consume (2006) starts out like a first-person shooter game, killing zombies POV with a shotgun in the woods. Very motion-sickness inducing. Flash to a kitchen with knocked-over chairs, and then to a cornfield. A redheaded girl is in a house lounging around in…
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Schlock Shelf – Shutter
Shutter (2008) is a horror film that was shot in Japan and tells the story of a newly married couple who can’t get rid of a ghost. The husband is a photographer, sent to Japan on a long-term assignment, who brings his wife along to…
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Schlock Shelf – Wound
Wound is an independent horror film from David Blyth that takes the viewer through a sort of sado-masochistic, sexually dysfunctional, mentally disturbed Australian woman’s spiral into bizarro-world. There’s plenty of bodily fluids, yelling, gravedigging, mask-wearing, and gratuitous breasts to satiate the average horror fan, but…
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Film Review – Funny Games
Michael Haneke’s Funny Games (1997) is a film about a family enjoying their vacation lake home. They get set up in their home for a short stay and some friends of the neighbor’s come to visit. Things go south quickly.
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Schlock Shelf – Hot Skin 3D
I would try to explain to you how 3D pornography blurs the line between awesome and horrific, as well as disgusting and hilarious, but I can’t. Suffice it to say, it isn’t arousing. It wasn’t arousing in the ’70s, and watching a movie from the…
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Film Review – My Afternoons with Margueritte (La Tête en friche)
My Afternoons with Margueritte (two Ts) is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time and arguably the best French movie I’ve ever seen. I don’t say this lightly, as I’ve watched numerous French films. It’s different than most of the ones…
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