Author Archive
Schlock Shelf – Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is one of the best films I’ve seen in a really long time. Combine Earnest Goes to Camp with Friday the 13th and you’ll have this masterpiece. Tucker is the more macho of two hillbilly best friends, and he’s a…
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Schlock Shelf – Mega Piranha
Mega Piranha begins with an American senator being killed in Venezuela in a suspicious manner, and Fitch (played by Paul Logan) is sent there (somehow, in just a few short hours) to figure out what happened. There are American scientists (including 80’s pop star Tiffany—who’s…
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Schlock Shelf – The Troll Hunter
The Troll Hunter—In this Norwegian homage (I think) to The Blair Witch Project, a set of video recordings shows up at a film studio anonymously. It shows footage from an amateur film crew from a college in Norway following Hans, a Norwegian troll hunter. Like…
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Schlock Shelf – Sharktopus
Sharktopus—This not-based-on-a-true-story movie starts out with a shark attack on a bikini-clad co-ed. Yes, I said STARTS OUT. Brilliant. Eric Roberts is a scientist who has developed a combination of a shark and an octopus—a sharktopus, if you will. This sharktopus, named S-11, protects the…
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Schlock Shelf – Zombie Strippers
Zombie Strippers. This movie is exactly like what you’d expect it to be, from the title. Add in the fact that Jenna Jameson is one of the main stars of the film, and you know you’re in for a clothing-minimal zombie movie. Add in Robert…
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Schlock Shelf – The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine
The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine—Yeah, this title got your attention too, didn’t it? I bought this film in hopes that it would stand up to scrutiny from my friends at Valentine’s Day-themed Bad Movie Night. However, it ended up with three strikes against it:…
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Schlock Shelf – RoboGeisha
Robogeisha starts with a guy running for the office of prime minister. His assistant comes in and tells him if he doesn’t withdraw from the election, his life will be forfeit. The future prime minister pledges his love to a dancing geisha who’s singing about…
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Film Review – King Cobra
Some scientists, are working on bio-genetically altering animals (like they do). An evil red head (Malachi from Children of the Corn) takes over the lab. The experiment goes wrong and almost everyone in the lab dies, some from the explosion, and some from the 30-foot…
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