Film Review – Chinese Hercules

Chinese Hercules is a traditional kung-fu film in which an orphan kung-fu student accidentally kills a guy in a fight over a girl and has to run for his life and also vows never to fight again. He leaves the area and gets a job hauling bags of rice from ships to a storage facility. He tries to be a good person, but every time he does, the bad guys beat him down (sometimes physically).

This evil syndicate closes down the pier he works on and all of his coworkers fight back without effect. The girl he fought over shows up randomly to bring a message to the runaway, and tries to get him to fight back for his coworkers. This huge muscle guy works for the syndicate as a thug and can only say a few hilarious words like “We kill them. We dump them.” Classic. The girl the runaway fought for enrages him enough that he goes after the muscle guy in an epic battle.

The film is not the greatest sound or visual quality, and the plot is a tad weak in that I’m not sure if the huge muscle guy is Hercules or the fighter runaway guy. And if it is the muscle guy, he only has about 10 minutes of screen time – but I guess it is a better title than “scared runaway kung-fu guy.” It’s one that most people can pass on, but since I’m a fan of kung-fu movies in general, I wasn’t going to pass this one up. It’s forgettable.

(2 out of 5 fus)


I'm a cross between Taylor Swift and Danzig, with a small dose of Christpher Burke thrown in. I like fried foods wrapped in bacon and I collect B-movies and kung-fu films. I host a regularly-occuring Bad Movie Night for 20-30 of my closest friends—jealous, aren't you?

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