Film Review – Junkie Nurse

In Junkie Nurse, a guy in medical scrubs, Eric, is driving a junked-out car around town, shooting up drugs (yes, while driving). He ends up hitting a guy who has escaped from an old folks home. He returns the old guy to the home and ends up in a job interview with the head nurse. I’m not even sure if that was planned or not. Apparently, the guy’s goal is to get into the pharmacy inventory. He ends up befriending the guy that he hit and they strike a deal to get Eric more drugs.

The nurse’s first night, one of the old people dies and he has to call the paramedics to come get the body. Eric falls asleep on the job, and wakes up and quickly types a report about the guy’s passing. He gets on the boss’s good side with this industrious attitude.

There is a crotchety old woman from Puppetmaster, who makes Eric’s life hell. She’s a not-so-old lady pretending to be old and dingy and crotchety. She doesn’t pull it off very well. Eric breaks up a fight between the old guy he’s struck a deal with and another old man, and drives him into the hood to get all stoned. The boss tries to find the old guy, but Eric has him on a field trip to the ‘hood. The old guy cancels the deal he’s got going with Eric because Eric isn’t keeping his end of the bargain. The entire facility is on lock down, but people get out all the time, which is odd.

Eric throws the old man a birthday party with booze and drugs, but it’s in the middle of the night, which I didn’t get at all. Then Eric keeps shooting up in the bathroom at night. The old guy ends up dying on Eric towards the end—but at the same time, the boss gets fired for cashing old folks’ checks and Eric gets a promotion. The residents still love Eric. Why? Because he offers to get them water at any opportune moment. Dumbest premise for a film ever, just a non-interesting chain of events that would never ever happen in a million years.

This movie is poorly acted, and poorly filmed. It’s got an awful script, most of which doesn’t make sense and is completely implausible. Just about everything in this movie angered me, not quite to the point of me yelling at the screen while watching, but close. Don’t waste your time on this film, even if it does make it to a theater—which isn’t likely.

(1 out of 5 fus)

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I'm a cross between Taylor Swift and Danzig, with a small dose of Christpher Burke thrown in. I like fried foods wrapped in bacon and I collect B-movies and kung-fu films. I host a regularly-occuring Bad Movie Night for 20-30 of my closest friends—jealous, aren't you?

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