Film Review – Smash Cut

Smash Cut starts with an old timey intro (meaning with an old man talking) giving viewers a warning about what they’re about to see. The film starts in a movie theater where people are watching a bad movie about a clown killing people – called Terror Toy. Everyone complains, yells, and leaves, but there is a guy standing near the exit with sad clown face painting. Cut to a strip club. This is how every movie should start.

The clown is sitting in the strip club crying in his beer and talking with his friend or agent or cameraman. Apparently, the sad clown is the director of Terror Toy and knows people hate his movie. The clown sleeps with a dancer and he kills her when he crashes his car driving her home. Then he saves her body and ends up using her body to make the special effects in his movie more believable. The director goes to the office of the critique that wrote the most recent bad review and kills her.. with a movie scene clacker with teeth. The director goes on a killing rampage to put people (or at least their body parts) into his films.

Meanwhile, the sister of the dancer he killed first begins searching for her sister. The sister is a television reporter and talks her boss at the television station into hiring the city’s best private investigator to help find her sister. The PI snoops around and gets a little too close to the director. The director starts to plot how he’s going to kill the PI. The sister shows up to audition for the director’s newest film and ends up holding her sister’s decapitated head in her hands while reciting Shakespeare. Creepy. The director continues to kill random people to harvest their body parts for placement in films. Eventually he kills enough people that people catch on, including the PI hired to bring him down.

This film is pretty terrible and not really worth watching. I totally fell for the hype and the write up of this one. It’s got bad dialogue, costumes, fight scenes, and plot. It’s probably one of the worst endings eve done in a film, and I don’t think you’ll fill a bit of suspense or drama in this film at all. It actually makes me want to watch Puppet Master, knowing it will seem like a Hollywood blockbuster compared to this film. One of the closing lines, “I kissed my dead sister’s severed head. I think instead of dinner, I might need to go get some trauma counseling.” Alright, that was funny. But that’s the extent of the humor in this film.

(1 out of 5 fus)


I'm a cross between Taylor Swift and Danzig, with a small dose of Christpher Burke thrown in. I like fried foods wrapped in bacon and I collect B-movies and kung-fu films. I host a regularly-occuring Bad Movie Night for 20-30 of my closest friends—jealous, aren't you?

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