Film Review – Without a Paddle

Without a Paddle – Four friends grew up together and have pretty different personalities. Once, they’re older they’ve gone their separate ways. One of them dies and they all come back to Oregon for the funeral. They go find their old tree house and there’s a box with what amounts to a treasure map inside that Billy left them shortly before he died. So they owe it to Billy to follow the map and find the treasure.

They head onto the river in a canoe with minimal supplies and then a whole bunch of ridiculous things that would never happen actually happen. Seth green gets carried away by a bear and they have to rescue him. Brother Randy is hunting fish with dynamite. They hit super bad rapids and launch over a huge waterfall. Then they find Brother Randy is growing pot in the woods. Then they run into two hot lesbian hippies in a treehouse. And of course, they run into Burt Reynolds living like Grizzly Adams in the woods as well.

None of these things are remotely believe and the acting in this movie is so outlandish that it’s painful at times. Since this movie was recommended to me, I’ll go slightly easy on the bad-mouthing of it, but not on the rating. This movie was pretty terrible. And not in a good way, like usual. Don’t watch this one.

(half a fu out of 5)


I'm a cross between Taylor Swift and Danzig, with a small dose of Christpher Burke thrown in. I like fried foods wrapped in bacon and I collect B-movies and kung-fu films. I host a regularly-occuring Bad Movie Night for 20-30 of my closest friends—jealous, aren't you?

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